Thursday, October 12, 2006

We blog to know that we are not alone...

" Why do you blog? " Someone asked me that the other day. It’s a good question.
Blogging for me is a window to the outside world, a creative outlet, a cup of coffee and a visit with a friend, a support group, a place to spin the tale of our happy little life, a record of Annabelle's baby days.
I blog because I am afraid that if I don’t I will someday look back on our life as this wonderful fuzzy blur…And I don’t ever want to lose the sweetness of these days. I don't want the simple, ordinary, day-to-day joys to fade from memory with time.

So life becomes a treasure hunt.

A challenge to see things from God's perspective. And to never stop thanking Him for the glimpses of joy of truth and of beauty He sends every day. To recognize, when David's smiles at me, numberless times in a's God wispering, " I love you." To know that the delight that sparkles in the eyes of my tiny daughter, is nothing less than the joy of the Lord. To watch every evening, the sunset splendour as it glows across the hills and know it's Love, written in color, framed in by the corners of my living room window...a gift so exquisite, so personal. Or how often through the words of a friend, it occurs to me that I have just been divinely hugged .

I long to document His grace. Leave hints of His faithfulness for Annabelle to someday uncover. Proof that He is with us. Evidence of His goodness. A history of love. Our history.
Everyone blogs for a reason. Now you know mine.

strands of change...

This morning I feel like making oatmeal for breakfast…not because I particularly like oatmeal but it just seems like such a fitting way to start out this nippy mid-September morning. It‘s the sort of day some people would call dreary. I happen to view a dreary day, as long as it is not followed by 17 consecutive dreary days, as a friend.
It’s the kind of day where you wouldn’t be surprised to see squirrels rushing about with tiny wheel-barrels full of acorns, or have a random wave of nostalgia come over you as you notice for the first time, a strand of red leaves trailing like a scarlet ribbon, down the big oak tree outside your kitchen window… and you think, summer is being replaced. Silently, gradually and inevitably replaced. Evidenced by subtle color the smell of apples in the air…or the urge to throw on a sweater before running out to see if the mail has come, by the crunch of already fallen leaves…
But more is changing around our house than just the seasons. Our days have been full of comings and goings, of company, and of growing. Annabelle started crawling over Labor day weekend and is happy to introduce, with a great big grin, the two very cute new teeth she has sprouted.
She is infatuated with shoes and tags and will crawl half way across the house to explore Daddy’s cowboy boots or play contentedly for the longest time with, not her toys, but the tags on her toys…as you can see she is also very fond of the keyboard:
Khyxev v glnj h b8un xkol,,l98ik, yfvt v ft 6 bnfj ntuy cttr
I on the other hand, besides keeping an eagle-eye on her…have been busy with a series of cleaning “ fits” and “tirades,” determined to stay one step ahead of the small nation of dust bunnies that live under things in my house… namely because Annabelle is increasingly fond of eating them.
Yesterday she was following George, our cat around the living room. She finally got close enough to pet him…and I was thinking…”aww, now isn’t that so cute…she loves George… “ when she stuffed his tail directly into her mouth. I shrieked of course and George has once again and quite permanently, become a strictly “ outside cat.” Not that I think this extreme-borderline-paranoid-clean-bug will last for long. Or that our future children will never be allowed to munch on a occasional dust-bunny, poor things.
But for today, I am a first time mom. Perpetually enchanted by the curiosity of my precious 6-month old. Not wanting to miss out on a single smile or look or squeal…the carnival of senses she uncovers in a single exploratory trip across the living room. All of it makes me smile and wonder at the miracle of growth…the beauty of life… of design and development…and the love of God….
And all of this while I am spooning in sweet potatoes, or changing a poo-ed-bum, while I am reading ’ Where is Baby’s Belly Button?’ Even while hunting down renegade dust bunnies. " It's nothing short of an education"...I think to myself as I look down to find Annabelle staring out the window, her bright little eyes tracing the patterned leaves as they scatter and skip across the afternoon sky...

" love found it's way into their hearts and got comfortable."

For days, I have been wanting and meaning to curl up in our office chair, with a nice steaming mug of peppermint tea, and plenty of time to catch up with all of you…
But there has been a minefield of:
laundry, dishes, errands, phone calls, projects ( like cleaning out our garage, matting and framing a stack of pictures ), visitors and visiting-s, my renewed determination to exercise regularly…and a baby girl who has a growing aversion to taking naps, and one very unfriendly emerging bottom-dwelling tooth, as well as a very hard-working, hungry husband…
…between myself and the computer screen.
Yesterday was a bewitchingly gloomy sort of a day. The wind whistled around the house like a teapot set to boil and then forgotten… I imagined writing a post all about it…Or about being all cuddled up in bed the other night, and remembering out-loud the summer we spent falling in love. About how I had to get up after David fell fast asleep and haul out the album stuffed with old love letters and pictures because I couldn’t sleep…About the goose bumps I had in the middle of the night, caused by the return of all those lovely feelings…
About how first there had been the hope of love, and how that had become love’s gentle unfolding. I was a girl in-love with a boy, a common, everyday sort of occurrence I know, but he was a boy who was not as much of a boy as he was a man…and a man who I had measured all other men by, a hero of a man, my hero. Suddenly I was acutely alive with the sensation that everything, everywhere and everyone was and beautiful and wonderful. Life simply glowed with romance! The memories with a thrill, sent me back in time. And then I thought about how our love has changed shape since then (quick example: the definition of a date has gone from the typical, going out to dinner and holding hands across the table, or a long drive and a picnic, to…David asking me tonight if I wanted to have a “date” with him out in the garage, once Annabelle was soundly asleep for the night ) and deepened over the last three years. I wanted to write all about a favorite quote of mine that went, “ So then love found it’s way into their hearts and got comfortable. “ And how I feel we have lived our way into those very words.
I wanted to write about just this and so much more, but the morning slipped right through my fingertips and before I realized it, Annabelle and I were on our way out the door and off to spend the afternoon at Me-Ma’s…then home, then dinner, a tired fussy baby to put to bed, then a counter-full of dishes to wash by hand since my dishwasher has been broken for a while…the day was gone. And wouldn’t you know it, today has gone away too. Bedtime is fast closing in on us.
A nice little slip of pearly moon is out for the night. And it’s actually chilly enough that I may just have to go dig out a wool quilt, for our bed.
I ’ll leave you with the words of my husband from earlier tonight, for they perfectly express what is in my heart…

“ honey, how did we get so blessed?”

What I hope people will say about us someday:

"They loved with a love that was more than love."
~Edgar Allan Poe

a bouquet of baby thoughts...

She came to us quite by surprise
On a shinging,glorious Sunday morning
In the Middle of February.
We loved her entirely, instantly
We had loved her all along
But until that day, we were not certain who exactly it was we were loving…
Should we paint your little room pink or blue?

And we called you, this wee baby of ours:
The name came on a whim, out of Mommy’s
Love for A Child’s Garden of Verses
And a poem she had read there…

In their imagination, mommy and daddy could
See baby twirling and skipping on tippy toes,
off the rounded edges of Mommy’s largely, growing tummy…
Just like the tiniest fairy ballerina as Mommy thought
(Daddy thought more along the lines of a isty-bitsy middle linebacker…)

And then, before we had time to collect ourselves,
You were here..
just like that…
And you were the most beautiful tiny creature
Either of us had ever laid eyes on…
With your laughing sparkle-eyes of deep blue,
Your Daddies long and red eyelashes that curl at the tips,
The pinkest of chipmunk cheeks,
Rosie-red lips...that we can't keep from kissing
A nose like a button,
An adorable bit of a chin
Two elfin ears...
The plumpest little belly
Chubby dimpled fingers
Two legs covered with the dearest tootsie rolls...
And last but not at all least those rather famous
Twinkle Toes

“ Every inch of her is perfection. “
Her Mommy told her daddy.
And her Daddy agreed.

And yes, her toes really do twinkle.

something in the air?

I saw a tree this morning, covered with bright orange leaves. They must have turned color over-night. Did I forget to flip my calendar, or is it still only the middle of August? It reminded me of this quote that I love:

“ This was one of those perfect days in late summer where the spirit of autumn takes a first stealing flight, like a spy, through the ripening country-side, and, with feigned sympathy for those who droop with August heat, puts her cool cloak of bracing air about leaf and flower and human shoulders. “
~Sarah Orne Jewett

Our mornings have been chilly. The air, smelling deliciously like fall. The other day I wore my big cozy sweater until noon, and if that is not proof enough, we have not been able to sleep through the entire night with our windows open. Maybe that is because our bed is dressed for summer with cotton sheets and a light coverlet. As much as I look forward to the changing of the seasons.I hesitate to let go of summer...
There is more splashing to be done in the back yard pool where Annabelle has recently discovered her shadow. They have such a lot of fun together.
And Annabelle's Mommy is still quite unwilling to part with these warm days in which she carries around a sun-kissed baby dressed in only a diaper. She likes to be able to nuzzle and cuddle that soft, chubby, little body, on demand, and to her hearts content.
There is more fresh salsa, corn on the cob and freshly squeezed lemonade, to serve out on our little back porch table.
More walks to take in the backdrop of a burning velvet sunset.
More time to spend digging in the garden, admiring the roses, the zinnias and the dahlias, tugging at a weed or two.
More lazy Sunday afternoons to spend doing absolutely nothing.

Later on tonight, after we put Annabelle to bed, we will steal away to a favorite spot of ours enjoy a little bit of summer romance, and watch the mid-August moon come up.

everyday happiness...


Perhaps I am fascinated by and enamored with them simply because that you are only, ever allowed one first. One first smile, giggle, word…first step…first birthday…the first day of school… losing your first tooth, or your first time on a bicycle…your first pet,… first sleepover…winter's first snowfall…first time to see the ocean… your first job, car, boyfriend…your first kiss…the first daffodil of spring...your first home…first baby...everyday life is full of them.

How about you? Do you have any memorable or recent firsts, I'd love to hear them!

Yesterday, Annabelle discovered, for the very first time, the taste of real food…and I as a first time mom, introduced her to real food…for the first time. Neither one of us were disappointed. I waited till I heard David pull into our drive-way ( which also happens to be my favorite time of the day), to crack the jar of baby food open. I was expecting with the first spoonful, at the least, a cute little pucker-face. At the worst, baby food spit all over my face. She reacted to the little jar of Pears and Raspberries with only the jolliest sort of baby-delight. In turn David and I grinned and chuckled and exclaimed “ oh how cute! ” with only the jolliest sort of parent-delight.
Maybe it is just my imagination, but sometimes I wonder…if David wore shirts with buttons, how I would keep the buttons from popping right off ? The other night we were out enjoying a frequent and reoccurring pastime of ours, otherwise refered to as the “diaper run“. I was trying to figure out what size of diapers to buy the babykins. I swear, you‘d think we were feeding her miracle grow or something! The last time we weighed her was maybe three weeks ago. She was just over 15 lbs. So I sent her off with her Daddy to find the aisle with the bathroom scales. He came back chanting 17, as if it were the number of home-runs scored during latest Mariner win! ( which to get completely off the subject, was something like three years ago ). That’s how proud and pleased and amazed he was. Me too.
So our precious little blue eyed baby girl weighs 17 lbs and will be 6 moths old next Saturday. I am so excited to celebrate her first half birthday. We’re going to give her…her first rubber duckie.