tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-359357322024-03-13T07:10:02.395-07:00The Value Of Cheerfulness{Write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.}Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.comBlogger354125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-23794310588200552122023-10-31T16:03:00.007-07:002023-10-31T16:15:17.013-07:00precious last words<br /><br /><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcIdVIb46ugl7a_VneZdyJJt2qVnMpsRmklDBeQ8SG_e7KVpFRbLKPNdQb5V5dQlc-tbeCPN2pKkcsYAWwtzx5DLY_iPYkoCV5D-eYJ_7kAd7oXikq_aenmrxXvWNwkmOW6D3edNJI4ot46N9mC_JbpkzLCrY78tuVgbAyyTajerVCV8w7DY6EIA/s1181/C35C8EE2-3D47-4905-A09F-E11FB10497F3.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1181" data-original-width="1072" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcIdVIb46ugl7a_VneZdyJJt2qVnMpsRmklDBeQ8SG_e7KVpFRbLKPNdQb5V5dQlc-tbeCPN2pKkcsYAWwtzx5DLY_iPYkoCV5D-eYJ_7kAd7oXikq_aenmrxXvWNwkmOW6D3edNJI4ot46N9mC_JbpkzLCrY78tuVgbAyyTajerVCV8w7DY6EIA/s320/C35C8EE2-3D47-4905-A09F-E11FB10497F3.jpeg" width="290" /></a></div><br /></div><div> Dear Uncle Leroy,</div><div><br /></div><div> It's hard to find the words to tell the story of well over a decade of being loved so well by you. You know how many times I thanked you for all the memories + you’re legendary status in our family. From your love for my beautiful aunt, who you adored, teased and would truly do anything for, to your love for my kids, for David and for me personally. This month, while the leaves turned and blazed and fell we said goodbye to you earth-side. You hold a very deep + special place in our hearts. You loved us in a way that changed us + brought healing to our hearts. I remember and picture you in my minds eye, being the tickle monster and fun uncle one moment and in the next moment I can see each one of my babies holding your face in their hands as you were tender and gentle and safe place for all of us. I will always remember your deep concern for me in the years that my own health was wavering. I can see see you looking me straight in the eye and telling me that you thought the world of me and my family and all the good things you saw in us. Thank you for saying those things out-loud, I wonder if you know how much we needed to hear them. Tears of graditude well up again, as I think about how dearly we will miss you + what an honor it was to be loved by and love you. </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Hg3BoplDVA59BcOZ91Umh_BhzLAsSaUNfaQJBZU8P925jxleENXWnD3_m4nF2Xp3ezWWRi1tyaAgJ0rbaLhjOKE4y4eJmHWIWWBJnvV2JCo2VQFq4PSBD_ZD14N7rFf6418W6Xsy54Aw3KQPxdtnvNxQ4DSklTFPhPXyo_QRLr5MLWnfazeeVQ/s1600/5E922F67-0AA9-4702-98F4-7FB50D9A8347.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Hg3BoplDVA59BcOZ91Umh_BhzLAsSaUNfaQJBZU8P925jxleENXWnD3_m4nF2Xp3ezWWRi1tyaAgJ0rbaLhjOKE4y4eJmHWIWWBJnvV2JCo2VQFq4PSBD_ZD14N7rFf6418W6Xsy54Aw3KQPxdtnvNxQ4DSklTFPhPXyo_QRLr5MLWnfazeeVQ/s320/5E922F67-0AA9-4702-98F4-7FB50D9A8347.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Your last words to us are such a gift. I am going to leave them here for my children and their future children to remember: </div><div><br /></div><div>" You know I would still do anything for you...</div><div><br /></div><div>So much laughter...</div><div> </div><div>I have something important to tell you...</div><div><br /></div><div>You can always pray for me...</div><div><br /></div><div>A miracle...</div><div><br /></div><div>It's just sweet, very sweet."</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv9oX1ihM0VzQMS-QI9ORzoeTzljniow5I5WbKc6OAZPbnZ4mR7tjG43EGGcQkKHLU49XvhFk60UVsc4TMyJrA8TO723HVpfK-ZscndcLN-P9ZwFZVa_YFFxBjLPOwwtpHJIs_AAg_xiTkAWyIpYhPzOJGH7Xhg8HZ82sRHGeZU7wLTeXf89l6yw/s1571/AEB0A200-661F-48C0-9344-331746C2B09A.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1571" data-original-width="1170" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv9oX1ihM0VzQMS-QI9ORzoeTzljniow5I5WbKc6OAZPbnZ4mR7tjG43EGGcQkKHLU49XvhFk60UVsc4TMyJrA8TO723HVpfK-ZscndcLN-P9ZwFZVa_YFFxBjLPOwwtpHJIs_AAg_xiTkAWyIpYhPzOJGH7Xhg8HZ82sRHGeZU7wLTeXf89l6yw/s320/AEB0A200-661F-48C0-9344-331746C2B09A.jpeg" width="238" /></a></div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><div><br /></div></div>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-67745980876409261022022-03-11T17:13:00.005-08:002022-03-11T17:45:41.463-08:00where to start <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbvYSjxVjSs7tz_FwEmTggogODmzYrn8fU4nZans5XLyn88__U30BQo4KBHP45WTHfjIzsBpEPKq1mRbkI1df2AxQYvThRtwQhdb-FTXR9DjNo91qSU2q4vUNVkIDMdjR9WbGbc2oyLzSiicJsRL5QtX9WjwH2uMGaaNZi-_zZi2DMtbFN0BY=s2559" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2559" data-original-width="2559" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbvYSjxVjSs7tz_FwEmTggogODmzYrn8fU4nZans5XLyn88__U30BQo4KBHP45WTHfjIzsBpEPKq1mRbkI1df2AxQYvThRtwQhdb-FTXR9DjNo91qSU2q4vUNVkIDMdjR9WbGbc2oyLzSiicJsRL5QtX9WjwH2uMGaaNZi-_zZi2DMtbFN0BY=w300-h300" width="300" /></a></div><p><br /></p> I don't know where to start and I don't know what to say.<p></p><p><br /></p><p>I just read this poem by Mary Oliver and I am feeling every word of it to my core.</p><p><br /></p><p>" I tell you this</p><p>to break your heart</p><p>by which I mean only</p><p>that it break open </p><p>and never close again</p><p>to the rest of the world. "</p><p><br /></p><p> I feel the overwhelming magnitude of what I need to process after years of neglecting the practice of writing down words. Writing was something so near and dear to my heart since I was a girl. </p><p> Random, disconnected thoughts swirl and blur across my mind, such as there is nothing more beautiful or rewarding than joining God where He is at work, because our good God is always working for the good. Thoughts of how proud I am of my kids. For boldly and unapologetically being who God has made them to be in our home. And for all the ways I want to learn how to the kind of Mom who points them to Jesus with my words and actions and love but never tries to take the place of Jesus in their lives. Thoughts of how undeserving I am of the husband I have been given and his patience and acceptance of who I am and in letting me have a voice in our marriage and family over the years ( that's not the culture we were raised in ). Thoughts of all the ways my family and the world at large is aching and groaning under the weight of shame and guilt for things unspoken for too many years, and for the fall-out and trauma caused by the consequences of bitterness and control in small and large ways across, not just individually but across all of time and space. </p><p> Thoughts of how Jesus always comes with healing in His hands, how by grace, He longs to erase the spiritual effects and consequences of all of that. To love us intimately, to win our hearts, and to walk with us in and through the questions and mystery of all the wilderness seasons. Through a lifetime of hurt and pain and suffering, the world over. </p><p> I want to make the time to go back and write my story down. A love story so beautiful but one that I feel I only know so little of. As a little girl I think I could have seen Jesus through a very different lens than I did but I somehow mercifully, I was able to see Him for who he really is, full of grace and truth and beauty that makes me feel this grace and forgiveness and freedom should all be too good to be true. From a very young age until this day, I still believe in the Jesus who loves me because the Bible tells me so. Of course I have veered off course and gotten stuck in my sin and pride and independence but I believe my faith wavered over the years mostly when I felt I needed to perform and prove my love, instead of living from a place of belovedness. Which leads my heart to ask: How do I love well? How do I treasure Jesus? By loving and treasuring others well. But I don't have what it takes to do that. Exactly. Always. But easier said than done. My daily, moment by moment dependance on Jesus is where it's all for me and acceptance that in my weakness, because of the power of the Holy Spirit I am strong. To embrace the upside-downiness of it all.</p><p><br /></p><p>Life > Death</p><p>Light > Darkness</p><p>Healing > Brokenness</p><p>Mercy > Judgement </p><p>Forgiveness > my sin</p><p>Hope > Despair </p><p>Beauty > Ashes</p><p>Praise > Mourning</p><p>Freedom > all my shame</p><p>Love > Fear</p><p>Peace > Chaos</p><p>Joy> Selfishness </p><p>Humility > Pride </p><p><br /></p><p>His joy, my strength. As C.S. Lewis put it, " Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done. " </p><p>Which I have very much found that to be quite true in my forty years of living. </p><p>Break my heart open ever wider and deeper, dear Lord.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p><p><br /></p>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-24593459838807872882022-02-21T17:14:00.002-08:002022-02-21T17:14:30.007-08:00Ugly crying in church<p data-adtags-visited="true" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> We had a guest speaker at church yesterday. I have read and loved Dr Jerry Sittser's books over the past ten years and when he started to read this quote from St Gregory at the end of his sermon, I found myself sobbing in my seat. All day long I have been wanting to find it so I can re-read it. So happy to be back in this little memory keeping corner again. This speaks to the Jesus who knows and loves me and who I know and love because of that.</p><p data-adtags-visited="true" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></p><div class="separator" style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKjpX3hE0q-kWQBdKFrDch5qx0EhMHcfcxH7WtpUbGL0q6TxANZnwHknp8uNTP6KOA8U7avmz1uMTig4A2-eCPelwxw4kdku8LwoIbj6JlbcsN6EWWnnf4B3MDyi4XSg80sodApcQfNGP-KTUIOfDuhTBZooYrDweuNidK9dLiN84q2tBUdP8=s3780" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3780" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKjpX3hE0q-kWQBdKFrDch5qx0EhMHcfcxH7WtpUbGL0q6TxANZnwHknp8uNTP6KOA8U7avmz1uMTig4A2-eCPelwxw4kdku8LwoIbj6JlbcsN6EWWnnf4B3MDyi4XSg80sodApcQfNGP-KTUIOfDuhTBZooYrDweuNidK9dLiN84q2tBUdP8=s320" width="256" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 14px;">{ picture of Ruby Grace with huckleberry stained cheeks and mountain wildflowers from last summer }</span></span></div><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><p></p><p data-adtags-visited="true" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “As man he was baptized, but he absolved sins as God; he needed no purifying rites himself–his purpose was to hallow water. As man he was put to the test, but as God he came through victorious–yes, bids us be of good cheer, because he has conquered the world. He hungered–yet he fed thousands. He is indeed ‘living, heavenly bread.’ He thirsted–yet he exclaimed: ‘Whosoever thirsts, let him come to me and drink.’ Indeed he promised that believers would become fountains. He was tired–yet he is the ‘rest’ of the weary and the burdened. He was overcome by heavy sleep–yet he goes lightly over the sea, rebukes winds, and relieves the drowning Peter. He pays tax–yet uses a fish to do it; indeed he is emperor over those who demand the tax. He is called a ‘Samaritan, demonically possessed’–but he rescues the man who came down from Jerusalem and fell among thieves. Yes, he is recognized by demons, drives out demons, drowns deep a legion of spirits, and sees the prince of demons falling like lightning. He is stoned, yet not hit; he prays, yet he hears prayer. He weeps, yet he puts an end to weeping. He asks where Lazarus is laid–he was man; yet he raises Lazarus–he was God. He is sold, and cheap was the price–thirty pieces of silver; yet he buys back the world at the mighty cost of his own blood. A sheep, he is led to the slaughter–yet he shepherds Israel and now the whole world as well. A lamb, he is dumb–yet he is ‘Word,’ proclaimed by ‘the voice of one crying in the wilderness.’ He is weakened, wounded–yet he cures every disease and every weakness. He is brought up to the tree and nailed to it–yet by the tree of life he restores us. Yes, he saves even a thief crucified with him; he wraps all the visible world in darkness. He is given vinegar to drink, gall to eat–and who is he? Why, one who turned water into wine, who took away the taste of bitterness, who is all sweetness and desire. He surrenders his life, yet he has power to take it again. Yes, the veil is rent, for things of heaven are being revealed, rocks split, and dead men have an earlier awakening. He dies, but he vivifies and by death destroys death. He is buried, yet he rises again. He goes down to Hades, yet he leads souls up, ascends to heaven, and will come to judge quick and dead, and to probe discussions like these. If the first set of expressions starts you going astray, the second set takes your error away.”</p><p data-adtags-visited="true" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Bitstream Charter", serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">– St. Gregory of Nazianzus, <span style="border: 0px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/God-Christ-Theological-Cledonius-Patristics/dp/0881412406/" style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">On God and Christ: The Five Theological Orations and Two Letters to Cledonius</a></span>, The Third Theological Oration (Oration 29)</p>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-47063991883830069032022-02-21T12:11:00.002-08:002022-02-21T12:11:15.138-08:00Gluten Free Cranberry Orange Scones <p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjn8lrIXJWKZz7PVpVymNoAl0qxGZdE2p9xCTB-EVTw-ztj41fMI_wJMecqvNhdOf41qBLfYM2gctn90rBLvZGAGue4OSwJhWXFe4YHt1IhwgUDegr90DqLmKBdejJfsmxuKYiTVUShAGfu20E49fnb4RnPi9fcVvKxJsYioV0FCYLWJBaLdhI=s4032" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjn8lrIXJWKZz7PVpVymNoAl0qxGZdE2p9xCTB-EVTw-ztj41fMI_wJMecqvNhdOf41qBLfYM2gctn90rBLvZGAGue4OSwJhWXFe4YHt1IhwgUDegr90DqLmKBdejJfsmxuKYiTVUShAGfu20E49fnb4RnPi9fcVvKxJsYioV0FCYLWJBaLdhI=s320" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Gluten Free Cranberry Orange Scones -</div></span><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> (makes 8 scones, bake at 400 )</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 2 cups Cup 4 Cup multipurpose flower</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1/4 cup granulated sugar</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1 tsp. baking powder</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1/2 tsp. baking soda</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> zest of one orange</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 2/3 cup of dried cranberries</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 6 tbls. cold salted butter</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1/2 cup of sour cream</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1/4 cup whipping cream ( plus more for brushing the top)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1 large egg</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1 tsp. vanilla </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 2 tbls. turbanado sugar ( for sprinkling on the top, optional )</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Orange Glaze -</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 3/4 cup confectioners sugar</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1-3 tbls. fresh orange juice </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> - 1 tsp. orange zest </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">2. Whisk together dry ingredients and then stir in orange zest. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">3. Grate the <u>cold</u> butter into the dry ingredeint + stir until the butter is evenly distributed. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">4. Stir in dried cranberries and place bowl in freezer while you stir together the wet ingredients. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">5. Mix wet ingredients into dry until it comes into a ball. Try to handle the dough as little as possible so that the butter stays cold. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">6. Turn the dough onto the prepared baking sheet. Form the dough into a circle, 8 inches wide and 1 inch high. Using a a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut the dough into 8 wedges, leaving them 2 inches apart on baking sheet. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">7. ( optional ) brush top with whipping cream and turbanado sugar.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">8. Bake in hot oven for 17-19 minutes or until nicely browned.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">9. Remove from oven and allow to sit for a couple minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. Drizzle with orange glaze and serve.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhA6FJzw-bUsNC3GeH23WGTC_Hmyy_nFkJ7cgz7YwGQRg4t3yvVg-g-C6y3Vj4keN9eZpTI-PVmXTqAayuHIFtphaj2g0zdhds5ONkLdEdBduym2RF0Khvqv9kmjuBsjMrRgAp_qPxdx2H66Fq1jpdPeHpxwyt9ZOj87xMg2GCn13pQvo2uC7o=s4032" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhA6FJzw-bUsNC3GeH23WGTC_Hmyy_nFkJ7cgz7YwGQRg4t3yvVg-g-C6y3Vj4keN9eZpTI-PVmXTqAayuHIFtphaj2g0zdhds5ONkLdEdBduym2RF0Khvqv9kmjuBsjMrRgAp_qPxdx2H66Fq1jpdPeHpxwyt9ZOj87xMg2GCn13pQvo2uC7o=s320" width="240" /></a></span></div><p></p><p><i><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-family: georgia;">Personal note: Not all gluten free flours are created equal. So for this specific recipe I strongly recommend you using The Cup 4 Cup multipurpose flour blend for the best results. </span></i></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-5447882176123757682019-05-07T10:14:00.003-07:002021-03-28T15:43:55.705-07:00{ Home }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PFH1A11_OhA/XNCjnPMWKcI/AAAAAAAAowI/8SnTWekcAsER20r6_RBChr39JRGw1dzUgCLcBGAs/s1600/A3492010-E059-49B4-B77C-933B3D518B5F.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PFH1A11_OhA/XNCjnPMWKcI/AAAAAAAAowI/8SnTWekcAsER20r6_RBChr39JRGw1dzUgCLcBGAs/s320/A3492010-E059-49B4-B77C-933B3D518B5F.jpeg" width="240" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My nearly two year old shouts “ were HOoooME!!!! “ Every time we turn on the road that’s a few blocks from our house. And it always makes me smile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is so much more about the people for me than the place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Because I have called so many houses home over the </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Our home tells our story</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home for me is in his face and smile</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">That became their faces and their smiles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is David’s strong but gentle love,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: "courier new", courier, monospace;">Home is Annabelle’s kind, laughing eyes</span></div><div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is Jack’s daily kisses on the mouth, even when he’s almost ten.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is Lucy Wren’s tight hugs and constant I love you’s.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is every freckle on Ruby’s face and her contagious giggle too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is Willa’s requests to snuggle you, hold you, rock you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is where my people are</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is a a safe place to fall apart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is where I rest, cry, heal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is dancing and laughing in a dirty kitchen</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is wiping up spills and bottoms and breaking up fights</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is " I am sorry, I forgive you's"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is where I plant daffodils and the depths of my soul</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My home is my canvas</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My life’s best work of art</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is an open-armed welcome to come and be nurtured.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">To come and be nourished.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">To be seen and heard and known,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And to belong.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new, courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is making eye contact with Jesus</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is now and home is not yet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">By faith first</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And then one day, by sight</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home is where " it is well with my soul"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">" I was lost but now am found "</span><br /><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">desperate and alone until my heart found it’s forever home in you Jesus.</span><br />
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Declaring these Words of life over my heart + home today and everyday: </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 </span></div>
</div>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-91342637257506833162019-03-27T22:33:00.001-07:002019-03-28T08:06:35.036-07:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Years of quiet, like weeds and brambles have overgrown the path I used to take to this well worn and beloved spot. A place I used to feel so at home in. This past weekend, I walked into the school room to find David scrolling back through post after post, going back in time, with one kid on his lap and one hanging off each arm. Every last post. Laughing and exclaiming and remembering...</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">A lump rose in my throat, a kind of bittersweet ache. I miss this space. I stopped blogging for good when I let my overwhelmingly busy + messy beautiful life, squeeze out the time I spent remembering and recounting different bits and pieces of our story. Little stories of God's goodness, daily graces and clear evidence of God’s faithful kindness, that I have found are forgotten over time, if not preserved.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> So I am starting fresh today. And by fresh I mean that literally. I started this post last week and only got one paragraph in before I got up to do something else came up, and i got distracted and that’s as far as I got. But I came back and am picking up where I left off in hopes that I stay in this place long enough to actually press the publish button. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So here I am starting again with today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">March 23, 2019, a sweetly imperfect and ordinary day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today we did what I have started calling " fun-schooling," My kids have worked hard to earn some extra days off before spring break by doubling up so today we did school until noon and then ran off to the library, stopped for donuts, walked at the park.The little girls did some and fairy-house building while Annabelle was at ballet and Jack at a sleepover with his friend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today I yelled at my kids to stop fighting. Never helpful or pretty but it’s the truth. Today, the house was more messy than not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today I kissed my husband in the rain, who is about to turn forty and who just gets kinder and more handsome with age. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">T</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">oday I gave Lucy and Ruby their first " official " piano lesson and you can see from our dining room window, purple velvet patches of crocuses blooming in our back yard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today I did not cook dinner, Costco did. Grateful for those un-homemade chicken cilantro wantons. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Willa discovered her shadow on the wall tonight and it was a moment of magic that I tucked it away to treasure and remember in my mama’s heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am reading a lot these days, before bed and early in the morning before the house wakes up. Today I am not ignoring my soul, in order to love and care for the souls God’s given me. So today I breathed in grace like oxgeyn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But most of all today </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am in Christ. May my life today more than anything be just that. Today I have hope and a future. “ </span>This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us.” Heb 6:19 </div>
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Today I am setting my mind not on what is seen but what is unseen. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Make me willing Lord to risk everything on that hope. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today I am praying for you friend. That you would know how dearly beloved you are, and that God meets you in every good, hard or scary place, that He holds you and sustains you in miraculous ways that would spill over into joy and praise and glory. </span></div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-76071154313407119502018-04-30T06:43:00.000-07:002020-01-12T21:44:20.946-08:00{ awake my soul }<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large; text-align: justify;">3.3.16</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I watched a movie the other night called <a href="http://thenoblemovie.com/">Nobl</a>e ( A Dream can Change A Million Lives ). </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The grief and the beauty tangled together in this story of redemption moved me in a profound way and left me overcome with emotion. It is based on the true story of a Irish woman named Christina Nobel who bravely and with great compassion overcame unspeakable trauma and devastation. Born in Ireland in the mid forties Christina's childhood looked like year after year of poverty, grief , abandonment, abuse and incredible loss . Brokenness and pain that followed her into her adult years. One thing I really love about her story is her honest conversations with God, through every low, heartbreaking moment. It was during a especially low point in her life around 1971 that she had a dream about Vietnam:</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br style="text-align: justify;" /><i><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">"I don't know why I dreamed about Vietnam, perhaps it was because the country was so much in the news at the time. In the dream, naked Vietnamese children were running down a dirt road fleeing from a napalm bombing. The ground under the children was cracked and coming apart and the children were reaching to me. One of the girls had a look in her eyes that implored me to pick her up and protect her and take her to safety. Above the escaping children was a brilliant white light that contained the word 'Vietnam'." </span><br style="text-align: justify;" /><br style="text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">This was a dream which she would one day triumphantly fulfil, albeit 20 years later. In 1989, with the goal to assist children in need, Christina arrived in Vietnam.</span><br style="text-align: justify;" /><br style="text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">Against all odds, Christina set up the Foundation in Ho Chi Minh City where the number of programmes has grown considerably across Vietnam. In 1997, Christina expanded the Foundation's operations into Mongolia but she still remains the principal driving force and inspiration and retains close personal contact with the children.</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Christina Noble had a dream that was to transform not just her own life, but that of the lives of 700,000 children (and counting).</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="background-color: white;">Taken from her website: <a href="http://www.cncf.org/">Christina Noble Children's </a></span><a href="http://www.cncf.org/">Foundation </a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> As the finishing credits rolled I was sobbing uncontrollably. I sat in the darkness, grief settled over my spirit like a blanket as I thought of my precious four sleeping safe and sound in their beds in such contrast to the numberless, unseen children of the world who go to sleep every night without a father and or a mother, who go to bed with hunger pains, starving for food and worse still, starving for love. Grief for the voiceless children of the world who dread the unspeakable evil that comes as bedtime and all the coming hours hold to bruise their body and soul. My shoulders shook under the weight of this grief that defies definition and God's Father heart. The words to an old beloved Hillsong chorus rose in my heart: " Break my heart for what breaks yours, Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause, As I walk from earth into eternity. " Tell me, what is it that you want me to do?" I cried, without a sound into the darkness.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No answer came. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yesterday, no answer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I fell asleep last night, still no answer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I woke up this morning at 4:30 am and tossed and turned, I felt the Lord gently reminding me to consider what He has already spoken, first in His word and also personally to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">" Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. " James 1:27</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It makes just as much sense that God would speak in the shower as anywhere else. I know a lot of us do our crying in the shower. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Four-ish months ago, on something like a random Tuesday morning. I was taking a quick shower before school drop-off for my two oldest to school. When something came to me out of a blue that very clearly felt like a call from God. I feel shy and hesitant about putting this into words. I didn't hear God's voice speak to me audibly. I don't know how to describe it other than it was maybe a twenty second visual that came out of nowhere. I saw in my minds eye a picture of a large room, a coffee shop/bakery of sorts. And I saw some of my close friends serving the customers there alongside several young teenage girls. As it played out in my head, I scanned the room and saw beautiful art, clothing and gifts for sale, all made with the cause of justice in mind. Not just stuff. Items with a purpose and a person behind the price tag. All of it, meant to bring intention, hope and awareness through each purchase. A way to highlight and provide for the needs first in our city, but also without borders. A small porthole to love the world. A way to raise our eyes as we drink our coffee, to put hands and feet to Jesus heart and affect change and transformation. A place to make visible those, who in God's eyes are most important and worthy of His/our attention. The unloved and overlooked and unseen. In God's economy " the last shall be first." I am not someone who normally dreams dreams or has visions. But everywhere I look in the Word of God for confirmation to pursue this idea God has laid on my heart, I see it. I don't have answers and I have no idea how or if this will play out out but I am willing and ready to obey and take next steps as God makes them clear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I run across staggering statics like : </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"> If all the orphans formed a country of their own, it would be among the 10th largest nations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">80% of domestic human trafficking victims were once in the foster care system.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">According to UNICEFF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The life expectancy of a child prostitute is 7 years.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And our hearts break and we determine not live small, selfish lives. Lets not get distracted by anything short of loving well and big.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Target. Pinterest. Instagram. Homeschooling curriculum. HGTV shows. Netflix. Our busy schedule. Crafting. Homemaking. All good things I love and wrestle with every single day. But I pray for God awaken my heart to people first. I pray that none of those things distract me from the call to see and love people. Especially the people right under my roof. I see Satan coming at me as an Christian, American stay at home mom from a different angle. He knows this " not good "good girl " wouldn't be tempted by drugs or alcohol or lust as much as I would good, pretty things that make no impact on the Kingdom of God whatsoever. It's that tension and fine line for me of the good so often becoming the enemy of the best in my life and before I know it my energy and all the hours of my day are full of more things that really have nothing to do with Jesus transforming my heart, my family and that rippling out to the rest of the world that is thirsty and hurting around us. I hope this doesn't come across as harsh and judgmental. I am just trying to process it in a honest and raw way. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't want to waste my one wild and precious life on anything short of joining God in the work of loving people and seeing them redeemed and made whole by Jesus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; text-align: justify;"> David and I have long dreamed of the future and what our we call our " forever </span><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320;">home " and have strategized and planned over the years about what that might look like. But really our forever home is heaven and the greater reality, seen through the eyes of faith is that what needs to come first in our hearts is " the Kingdom of God" We want to grow more and more in storing up our treasures there. I love how God is reshaping our dreams to that end.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the few past years the Lord keeps bringing this verse back and and singing it like a love song over me : </span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">" for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, " Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff;">And now what next? Start small. Be faithful in the little things. Jesus, David, my four children. To raise world changers, lead by example. Steward my time well. To learn greatness from Jesus, who was the servant to all. To be more intentional and disciplined than ever about where I am investing my life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff;">Jesus teach us what it looks like to live loved. I know what it means to be a slave to sin and to myself but You have forgiven me and set me free and the very least I can do is joyfully rise to pour out my life out in pursuit of others, knowing that your heart is the same for them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">" You yourselves are a case study of what he does. At one time you all had your backs turned to God, thinking rebellious thoughts of him, giving him trouble every chance you got. But now, by giving himself completely to the cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God's side and put your lives together, whole and holy in His presence. You don't walk away from a gift like that. You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. " </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">“Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering and the lonely right there where you are — in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools. … You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see. Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society — completely forgotten, completely left alone.” - Mother Teresa †</span></span></div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-91494386437904063902016-02-01T01:00:00.000-08:002016-03-03T01:51:26.094-08:00{ a memory collector resurfaces and other Sunday evening ramblings }<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> I wrote about another big move we move back in 2009 and how <a href="http://the-value-of-cheerfulness.blogspot.com/2009/06/for-whom-bell-tolls.html">the bells</a> were <a href="http://the-value-of-cheerfulness.blogspot.com/2009/06/for-whom-bell-tolls.html">a miraculous reassurance of God's faithfulness</a> to us. I felt seen and known that Jesus would love me in such an intimate way. Yesterday as I was hauling boxes into our new house from my mini van. I thought perhaps just vaguely I mignt have heard a sound of some sort in the distance...I dropped the box of books I was holding and sat down on the front porch steps, ears peeled as the tears welled up in my eyes. I thought at first it was my imagination. Imstead it was really and truly bells. There they were again. So faint I couldn't even make out the tune but there nonetheless. He hadn't forgotten. </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Even though I had.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> Unpacking boxes that have been tucked away in our basement for almost five years yesterday was surreal. But it felt life-giving to set up this little corner craft area in a basement storage room. Even with the cement floors and walls, lined with rough wood shelves, having a place to house all these precious memories makes my heart sing. Sorting through box after box and flipping through journals and stacks of loose pictures my eyes fell on entries like this: " my first love letter came in the mail today..." My eyes skimmed over page after page of my wresting with God, wresting that always led to surrender and joy throughout the years of waiting and unanswered prayers. I read these words a dear mentor had written in a card to me during that season: " God gives His very best to the ones that leave the choice to Him." I came across a letter of encouragement Joni Earekson Tada had written me after a wonderful life-changing week serving at one of the Joni And Friends Family camps. I found wedding pictures, pictures of each one of my babies. I found a little wooden box full of special things from fifteen years ago, including a tiny antique silver heart-shaped perfume bottle that David had given me, with my name engraved on it for our first Christmas together. I remembered him whispering in my ear after I had opened it, that he'd been saving it for years to give to someone very special. I came across my very favorite onesie that Jack wore as a baby, long-sleeved and cream with little brown airplanes on it. In the course of one afternoon my life flashed before my eyes and I type this in tears of gratitude. Jesus love for me has been the one constant through every single up and down, every mountain high or valley low. I have faltered and lost sight of Him countless times and daily. I have walked through brokeness, and heart break,both my own and others and found myself hurting and hurt by the ones I love most. Expectations more often than not dead-ending in disappointment and even complete loss at times. But the One thing that stands out to me, over this collection of years of memories is that His loving kindness has never once left me. He's gently pursued my heart. He loves me with a perfect, my life for yours kind of love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My heart surged with conviction tonight in church as we read: " This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one's life for one's friends. " I copied down these notes from the sermon: " Love is the essence of what and who Jesus has called us to be. The measure of maturity is how well you love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jesus fill me by your Spirit with your love, expand my capacity to love and move my heart to a place of action. A laying down. A great exchange. Your life for mine. My life for theirs. xo </span></div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-69657431455730218032016-01-18T00:35:00.004-08:002016-01-18T07:57:47.992-08:00{ reflection } <br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> My word for 2015 was wholehearted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> " God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your hear and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul, and live, real life. "</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Duet. 30:6 ( </span>The Message<span style="font-family: inherit;"> ) </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"> In 2015 I quit buying diapers. And I have watched my kids grow taller and farther away from the baby years. What a honor it is to get to raise them and witness their little souls unfold. To be an intimate part of their shaping, of who they are becoming. I pray every day that they their hearts will be only, ever, all for Him. It's a bittersweet process and I find my heart daily whispering these words: " the days are long but the years are short." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> In 2015 David and I were able to sneak away for a couple different overnights. That was treasured time together. I have never been more in love with this man, who cares for me and sacrifices for our family daily with such tenderness and humility. The kids and I took and amazing road trip to see our dear friends for Spring break. We brought our precious, like a sister friend along and it was her first time to see the ocean. She's 15. She was laughing and crying as it came into view on the horizon. I will never forget that. We snuck away as a family to our favorite place on the coast, Seabrook and ; and in the summer my parents gifted us with a vintage trailer that the kids named Jolly and we have been happy little campers in her ever since.</span><br />
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In 2015 friendships were deepened and new friendships were forged. And we have seen God do miracles in our hearts and lives and the hearts of those around us and in our city. </div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> In 2015 God opened my eyes to some incredibly dark corners of our world, corners I was not aware existed in such horrorfying </span>magnitude of <span style="font-family: inherit;">before. Modern day slavery and sex trafficking became recurring themes in the days that followed and Jesus began to put people in my path and highlight these atrosities everywhere I turned. For months I wrestled as the heaviness of the burden and weight of all I was learning settled over my soul. </span><span style="text-align: start;">For a couple months during the summer I was sinking inside. Sinking under the sadness of the sin and brokeness I was seeing so close to my front door ( as close as the middle school that's two miles from where I live, but that's another story for another time ) Feeling swallowed whole by the enormity of pain and suffering. I felt broken for the loved ones I was watching walk through loss and trauma, abuse and injustice. </span>The words of this song say it better than I ever could. As Jesus showed gently showed me this year that I cannot live wholeheartedly without surrender. I came out of that season with hope and a prayer that I would be delivered from whatever it is that keeps me from Jesus and a dream to see people delivered from whatever it is that keeps them from knowing Jesus.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I have come to this place in my life </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I’m full but I’ve not satisfied </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">This longing to have more of You </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">You already know this but still </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Come and do whatever You want to</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where never been</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Let love come teach me who You are again</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Take me back to the place where my heart was only about You</span></div>
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</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";"></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">And all I wanted was just to be with You</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Come and do whatever You want to</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Further and further my heart moves away from the shore</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Further and further my heart moves away from the shore</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I’m going under, I’m in over my head </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">I’m going under, I’m in over my head </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Whether I sink, whether I swim </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "trebuchet ms";">Whether I sink whether I swim</span></div>
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It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head</div>
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I’m beautifully in over my head</div>
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I’m beautifully in over my head</div>
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Honestly 2015 has left me with more questions than answers. So many more. But as the past year dies away and I anticipate all that the new year holds, this is not one of them: in 2015 I look back and see the unfailing faithfulness of Jesus. His perfect love for me, for my husband and my children, His perfect love for my friends and family, for the world: this is our only constant and unshakable reality. God's love and His Word, are the only fixed point of truth. And even as we press deeper into those places we doubt He is, as we fight back in trials and pain with joy, as we lean into the hard questions, and walk in the light and do not step even a toenail into the darkness, as we love especially when it's ugly and messy, as we embrace growing pains, and love when no one is looking. My our long days and short years be a lovesong declaring " and if not, you are still good! "</div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Books that I read in 2015 that left me a changed person: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Day-Living-Gift-Present/dp/0830843078/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453097347&sr=8-1&keywords=Holy+is+the+day">Holy Is the Day</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hardest-Peace-Expecting-Grace-Midst/dp/0781412153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453097467&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Hardest+Peace">The Hardest Peace</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Playdates-God-Having-Childlike-Grownup/dp/0891126201/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453097518&sr=8-1&keywords=Playdates+With+God">Playdates with God</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Life-World-Broken-Relationships/dp/143353732X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453097435&sr=8-1&keywords=A+Loving+Life">A Loving Life</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Every-Bitter-Thing-Sweet-Goodness/dp/0310339944/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453097191&sr=8-1&keywords=every+bitter+thing+is+sweet">Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet, </a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wonderstruck-Awaken-Nearness-Margaret-Feinberg/dp/1617950882/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1453096482&sr=8-3&keywords=wonderstruck">Wonderstruck,</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Books I am reading January 2016: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Rest-Homeschoolers-Guide-Unshakable/dp/1600512879/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453103229&sr=1-1&keywords=teaching+from+a+state+of+rest">Teaching From A State of Rest</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Delancey-Man-Woman-Restaurant-Marriage/dp/1451655118/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453103273&sr=1-1&keywords=delancy">Delancey</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453103338&sr=1-1&keywords=the+magic+art+of+tidying+up">The Magic Art of Tidying Up</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Tangerines-Celebrating-Extraordinary-Everyday/dp/0310329302/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453103306&sr=1-1&keywords=cold+tangerines+by+shauna+niequist">Cold Tangerines</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Reading-Promise-Father-Books-Shared/dp/0446583782/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453103363&sr=1-1&keywords=the+reading+promise">The Reading Promise</a></span><br />
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<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-521666413033457732015-03-19T00:44:00.002-07:002015-03-19T00:44:43.414-07:00I just set the timer on my phone for five minutes.<br />
Five minutes of writing about this day.<br />
A mild and partially sunny, middle of March, Friday afternoon...<br />
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The phone just rang and now I have 1:55 minutes left to my writing time.<br />
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And my house is strangely quiet as my three oldest are at a friends house this afternoon, and the baby is napping. She will be three in September. There isn't a lot of time left to call her a baby.<br />
I almost turned down my dear friends offer to take my kids this afternoon. But something inside me stopped me and instead of I said a quick " sure, that would be great! "<br />
Why do I do that? Why am I so quick to think I will burden my friend by allowing her the pleasure of the company of three of my children for the afternoon? Especially when I felt downright giddy over the chance to watch two of hers for a couple of hours this morning. Why am I so quick to steal the joy of someone who wants to bless me in this way?<br />
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I have spent the last two hours of quiet, tidying up my house that had been previously tousled by children who need no permission to let their imagination have free reign at any given moment.<br />
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I was asking my self, broom in hand, why do I so often save the things that bring me the most joy , that fill my heart up for after all my work is done?<br />
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So right then and there I dropped my broom and ran to the kitchen for an ice cream bar and resolved that yes I am going to go ahead buy that monthly subscription to audible. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by treasuring and savoring the stillness of this last quiet hour with the same amount of delight that my little Lucy had when she ran in from the front yard earlier this morning, with her precious dirt smudged smile to present me with the first little handful of purple violets. Which, after buttercups are some of the very first treasures of early spring to be had.<br />
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Time feels like a tv remote that is stuck on the fast forward button.<br />
I don't have time to do a lot of things I want to do. But when I think of what God is calling me to, that at this point would be disobeying him not to write. I cannot afford to ignore or excuse my " lack of time " and not write at this point. I can't afford to not make the time at this point. And as a dear friend and mentor of mine pointed out, look at the gift Jesus gave you today, he provided the space and time for you to write.<br />
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And so I'll write. And I'll run and I will tackle that mountain of laundry, and make those lunches and beds and grocery lists and I will run those errands and pick-ups and drop-offs and I will read that story, and more than once to my little girls.<br />
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Only let my mothering and doing and being and loving, all be done as an act of worship.<br />
" Let all that you do be done in love. " 1 Cor. 16:4 Praise brings a shift in perspective, as my eyes lift off myself onto our dear Jesus, I find a clarity and purpose that comes into focus as I uncover joy, bursting from every nook and cranny of my day, from the mundane chores, the middle of the night "cuddles" with my little ones, to returning that long list of phone calls and texts, to saying no to Instagram and looking my husband in the eyes. Adoration produces an overflow. And that means at this point I cannot afford to put off writing for another day. <br />
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<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-25300797759331183562015-02-15T23:23:00.004-08:002015-02-18T10:45:11.845-08:00{ the light makes my heart sing } <br />
One of my hopes and wishes for this year is to somehow pick up blogging again. I promised my dear friend the other night that I was going to post this. I have been a once a year blogger for the last several years now, partly because of the wonderful world of Instagram and partly because I have four children and we home school and I haven't made time for writing in this space. I often feel sad for the way I have neglected memory keeping in this way and I still feel unsure as to where to start in getting back into the habit of posting on my blog. But for now I am going to start with the most recent adventure off my camera roll. A family getaway to the coast. <br />
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We made a spontaneous decision to go on a little family road trip across WA last month. When your husband works long hours, six days a week during the spring, summer and fall it leaves the winter for just such getaways. These pictures were taken during our stay at Seabrook, WA. my very favorite place in the PNW. Otherwise known as the closest thing I know to be like heaven on earth. xo<br />
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Watching father and son play soccer on the beach and hearing </div>
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their laughter ripple through the breeze made my heart sing!</div>
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Lucy is my little mermaid, fairy princess with her blond wispy bangs who roamed the forest and beach, dreaming of all manner of beautiful girlish pretendings.</div>
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Sand in the toes.</div>
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Beach explorations.</div>
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My beautiful almost nine year old. With her curly locks and sweet, gentle smile. </div>
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A sunset walks on the beach.</div>
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Dancing. She's always dancing.</div>
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Catching the sun setting over the horizon. It was so exquisite, I cried. In awe of the beauty of the One who made all that we see and our very souls and loves more us more deeply than we could ever possibly imagine, ask or think. xo</div>
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It feels good to be back in this space. </div>
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Quite to my surprise, my fingers skipping lightly over the keys, feel at home again.</div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-24603226037499539972014-03-30T23:41:00.007-07:002014-03-30T23:41:53.778-07:00{ joy school }<em><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Epiphany: " manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of sudden and striking realization. Generally the term is used to describe scientific breakthrough, religious or philosophical discoveries, but it can apply in any situation in which an enlightening realization allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective. Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a process of significant thought about a problem. Often they are triggered by a new and key piece of information, but importantly, a depth of prior knowledge is required to allow the leap of understanding</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> The last couple weeks have brought some big come-to-Jesus moments for me. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This came as a suprise to me but these come-to-Jesus-moments were born out of some moments of pure ugliness in me. I am embarrassed to even admit that I am humanly speaking capable of this, but operating in my flesh apart from the love that constrains me ( 2 Cor. 5:15 ), I found myself in an angry shouting match with my eight year old daughter on our stairs. Where I was fully engaging my emotions in sin instead of pointing her to Jesus, which I am still as grieved over as I am thankful now for the ways God uses repentance to soften us and how quick the Lord and my children are to forgive me. Looking back on how such a bad day on my part could end up being such a good day, I only see grace and mercy and I am reminded once again that it is not my performance or perfection that He sees when He looks at me, it's Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> After David and the kids fell asleep that night, I was laying in bed but still feeling wide awake so I snuck out to the couch and curled up with a book and a cup of tea. It was truly the last place I expected to have an epiphany. But it was then I began to feel this soft and quiet whisper in my spirit, that I now call my " joy thing." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Joy thoughts in simple short sentences, mixed with scripture references mostly, were coming to me randomly, as if someone was listing them off to me. I promise I can count on one hand the amount if times I've and an out of body kind of experience but after these thoughts on joy, of joy started rising in my soul and didn’t stop until after 2 am that morning. I can not think of any other way to describe it. I had goose bumps and kept giggling and waking David up all night long and asking Him what He thought was happening. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I wrote all these joy things down. And even when I woke up in the morning there were new ones. It still feels so surreal and I am not even in the least bit sure what it all means apart from these two things: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) That I am supposed to pursue deep joy in my life and study joy by reading the Bible from cover to cover, documenting and digging deep down whenever I run across that word in scriptures and peoples lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) That I need to read everything I can get my hands on on the topic of joy! So please friends, fire away with your favorite recommendations or places of joy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is how I described the experience to my daughter last night, God is sending me to " joy school." I feel so humbled and grateful for this gift from Him. For this heightened awareness, a joy radar of sorts. For the way joy is jumping off the page at me, and for how I am seeing it all day long, around every corner!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> In the wake of all of this " joy thing" a dear friend of mine lost her beautiful 7 month old grandson from a heartbreaking battle with SCID's. We’ve been praying for over a month now, for healing and a miracle and for Jesus to break through. He did all those things, just not in the way we wanted Him to. And I wonder, how often joy comes on our terms. And I wonder, how do you reconcile joy when you can hardly breathe because life hurts so much and you are too broken to pick yourself up off the floor? And then, in the middle if my questioning, I was comforted by this quote from D.Bonhofer:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”</em> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did you catch that part about the torment of memory turned into silent joy? The answer to one tiny piece of that particle puzzle clicks into place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But what about messy joy, broken joy, raw joy, joy in depression, joy in catastrophic tragedy, joy in abandonment? Is it even possible for those words to be paired with the word joy and make sense? And I hold all these questions cupped in my open hands as I call Him good and faithful and love. That over time and eternity He will work out these questions I have, we have,</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> by His perfect, unfailing love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And if you were to ask me today to summarize to you what joy means to me in one simple equation it would be this:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Joy=Jesus.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Jesus=joy.</strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This truth about joy is my foundation and and my jumping off place and I am thrilled beyond words that I get to be a lifelong student of the art of joy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Joy______________.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Fill in the blank for me dear ones, and join hands with me as we treasure hunt for joy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-41570462838983747172013-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:002013-06-17T12:15:23.865-07:00{ Only Grace }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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{ Image borrowed from <a href="http://www.thenatos.com/2013/02/when-i-say-no.html">Naptime Diaries </a>}</div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: black;"> ( This last week we were asked by our pastor if we would write down the story of what God has been doing in our hearts since <a href="http://www.rlmspokane.com/"><span style="color: black;">RLM</span></a> has become our home sweet home church and as humbling as it was for us we didn't hesitate to say yes, because God deserves all the glory for our anything good that ever has, is or will happen in our lives... )</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: black;"> We are truly humbled and blessed by the opportunity to share with you how God is working in our lives. </span><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><span style="color: black;"><br />
David and I just celebrated our tenth anniversary and we have four young
children. They keep us on our toes. Usually they keep us on our toes,
laughing. </span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: black;">We see parenting as a great privilege and gift from God. </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="color: black;">That being said, our life these days is a whole lot of sticky, noisy and
messy. Thankfully, Jesus is all about taking our
mess, especially the mess in our hearts and turning it by the miracle of
His grace into something beautiful. We both grew up in Christian
families. And we both accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior at a young
age. We grew up in the church, but over years of
being in unhealthy churches we felt reluctant to get "too close" in a
church, for fear of being hurt, so we tended to stay hidden on the
“fringes.” </span></span></span></span></div>
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This past winter, after the birth of our fourth baby, we found
ourselves in a dark place, feeling overwhelmed and isolated.
Stuck in survival mode, far from a place that felt like growth or
freedom. Looking back now on that especially hard season, we see it as a
storm of grace. It was exactly what we needed. God used that time of
desperation to break us so we could begin to know
and experience Him in a deeper, more intimate way. We are so thankful
for the way He has interrupted our sleepy comfortable, lukewarm lives,
as “ good American Christians “. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We
have asked Jesus to make us hungry for Him and to forgive us for living
mostly selfish, self-absorbed
lives. He is opening our eyes to how“ good things” can often be the
enemy of what’s most important, that being: making much of Jesus and
His glory revealed in His Kingdom here. And He has used getting
connected here at<a href="http://www.rlmspokane.com/"> Real Life</a>, in real relationships to do
that. Since coming to Real Life, God has done a miracle in our hearts
and has given us a fresh desire and love for His Word, His people and a
new burden for those that don't know Him. We've encountered Jesus in a
deeper way , and we've experienced what it means
to truly be a disciple. God has used the people of this church body, who
have taken the time and invested in loving and pointing us to Jesus,
and who have encouraged us to take the next intentional step of
obedience to become the man and woman the Lord is calling
us to be. And in that we are experiencing that there truly is no
greater joy, than the joy of drawing close to him and loving and serving
Jesus as a couple and a family. </span></span></span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;">God
has called me ( David ) to lead my family. I am here to serve, in
whatever way I can, to step up and see where God will lead me, my family
and this church
as we learn to work diligently and love well. I want to see people
delivered from whatever it is that keeps them from Jesus.</span><span style="color: black;"><br />
We are so grateful that God uses ordinary people. Because we are just that. And we feel so humbled to join with the vision of RLM, to see this city
experience the miracle of deliverance and freedom and life abundant that
Jesus has poured into our hearts. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="ltr"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One precious person at a time.</span> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0zJHDz61YUg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="ltr"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-27584125472735741272013-05-29T17:02:00.000-07:002013-05-29T17:36:33.034-07:00Happy { pink } PartyAnd just like that our Lucy Wren girl turned two. My " ha-bee-bee " she calls it! And she was positively delighted with her very pink party.<br />
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This is signature Lucy Wren, just turned two... with her very few words, her blonde bangs and hair pulled back into pig tails that stick straight out, pretty dresses and " bee-bops" (flip flops) every day... she spends the day playing with her dollies and being their momma. She would eat a giant steak but turn down a ice cream cone. She is known for her love of cheese. Especially cheese sticks. Once at our friends house she ate eight cheese sticks. Yes you read that right, I said eight. She throws some pretty big tantrums but also has the best leg hugs and neck squeezes and loves to kiss us and tell us she loves us. She's affectionate and nurturing, most darling and loved by all. xo <br />
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Annabelle's Lucy List:<br />
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She always gets dirty<br />
She always says " I'm the momma, I'm the momma"<br />
She always takes good care of her baby dolls<br />
She is really funny<br />
Her favorite song is Jesus Loves Me <br />
And she's good at finding things<br />
She likes flowers, just like me<br />
And she's scared of bugs<br />
And she loves to do dress up<br />
She really like her little sister Ruby and calls her baby Grace<br />
And she always likes to play with me and Jack<br />
Her favorite is color is pink <br />
She always calls me Belle<br />
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Jack's Lucy List -<br />
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She likes to jump<br />
She likes to touch the computer<br />
She likes to try on Mommy's shoes<br />
She likes hitting you ( but that's not very nice )<br />
She's very funny <br />
She loves to throw balls<br />
She says " pee-pee bad " when she has to go potty<br />
She likes Tinkerbelle<br />
She likes to drive her little tricycle <br />
And she likes to be chased by me <br />
And she likes to watch Leap Frog with me<br />
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<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-43462175415526741482013-05-24T08:27:00.002-07:002013-05-29T16:07:56.845-07:00{ pink ballet slippers and sparkly mouse tales }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="hw">spark·ly</span> <span class="pron">(spär<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gif" />kl<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/emacr.gif" />)</span><br />
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<i>adj.</i> <b>spark·li·er</b>, <b>spark·li·est</b><br />
<b> </b><br />
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<b>1. a. </b> Giving off tiny flashes of light; glittery: <span class="illustration">a dress with sparkly sequins.</span></div>
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<b>b. </b> Lively; vivacious: <span class="illustration">a sparkly personality.</span></div>
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<b>2. </b> Effervescent.<br />
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At 7 how well that describes our Anniebelle girl! We just wrapped up year # two of ballet for her with a recital this past weekend. She delights in all of it and that is our delight. But what girl wouldn't with gilttery mouse tails tied in pink satin bows and frilly tutus! She is so lovely and the pictures at the end with her Daddy make me cry. </div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-21714261898925759182013-05-20T21:40:00.002-07:002014-05-21T21:42:40.636-07:00{ 10 things } <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He is my one in six billion. I'd rather have a bad day with him than a good day with anyone else.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nothing says home, like his arms. </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He loves sacrificially.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He works tirelessly and without complaining.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He has made me his standard of beauty + and I feel " safe in my skin" with him.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are his hobby.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">He is the truest and greatest earthly example of unconditional love to me.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As Anne Shirley told Gilbert Blithe, "I don't want sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you.”
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He is my favorite and my best.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I love him far more than I have ever found the words to say to him. </span> </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">And now here's our "to-do" for the next 10+ years: More flirting, more dancing, more laughing, more, much more time spent and memories made with our littles, and ever more loving, knowing and serving Jesus together! What a way to spend our one wild and beautiful life. I still pinch myself that I get to be his wife. It's such a honor and my absolute delight. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For over a decade now I am happier than I ever imagined I could ever be, a deep down, more noisy than quiet, more messy than perfect, more chaotic than calm and more often than not sort of happy. Truly. Thank you Jesus, and thank you Mr of mine. <a href="http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oGdX0i5JtR43wANwRXNyoA?p=this%20is%20love%20music%20video%20tim%20meyers&fr2=sb-top&fr=mcafee">This is lov</a>e. xo</span></span></div>
<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-72129394271013564672013-05-20T21:40:00.001-07:002013-05-21T07:38:45.044-07:00{ the first one }<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Nov. 15, 2002</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Boy that I Love -</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> I understand the love of God better than I ever have now that I am thanks to you, a recipient of the human counterpart. And grace, I feel so fully embraced by grace. That's what you make me feel, unconditional love + deep grace, my strong, quiet man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> I am getting reports from reliable sources that you are turning into quite the conversationalist. :) I think you have been seeing too much of me. My talkiness is rubbing off on you. Scary thought. They say you have a perpetual smile. And oh that makes me happy because I love your smile more than any other smile in the whole entire world. I can see it 450 miles away. It brightens up any cloudy day, dark night or fearful thought. Because perfect love casts out fear. I have always wanted to experience a perfect love. Jesus love is perfect. And do you think David that just maybe sometimes He might us the love of a man and a woman to reveal that perfect love? I am full of wonder and joy over the possibility of that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You just keep holding onto Jesus honey...He's really all we need.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This is the first real love letter I have ever written. I always hoped that it would be to you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Jesus, you are faithful and true in every way. Your love overwhelms me, Your mercy brings me to my knees, Your kindness humbles me. Help us love you back like as you first loved us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I love you so much that it makes this hyper girl calm. Figure that one out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Gladly Yours,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Chelle </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> And the rest, ten plus years later is history as we proclaim how good and faithful the Lord has been to bless us with each other and a beautiful marriage, plus four small and crazy beautiful people that call us Daddy and Mama and share our last name.That is nothing short of a gift and the work of His gracious heart! I type this with tears streaming down my face, humbled by His perfect faithfulness and grace as we seek to build our lives and home around Him, " rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. " Colossions 2:7 </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For He is love. Perfect. Amazing. Love.</span><br />
<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-25826804885217478722013-05-16T13:43:00.000-07:002013-05-24T09:27:04.549-07:00{ Excerpt } I have been reading this book called<i> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Good-Girl-Letting-Try-Hard/dp/0800719840/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368738014&sr=8-1&keywords=grace+for+the+good+girl">Grace for the Good Girl, Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life</a></i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Good-Girl-Letting-Try-Hard/dp/0800719840/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368738014&sr=8-1&keywords=grace+for+the+good+girl"> </a>by Emily Freeman, who writes at <i><a href="http://www.chattingatthesky.com/">Chatting At the Sky</a> </i>and it is hitting me hard, every page and I mean that in the best possible sense, as a compliment to the author. It's spooky how sometimes I'll read a page and wonder how she got into my head, because she just described me so to a T. It has impacted me like no other book since <a href="http://the-value-of-cheerfulness.blogspot.com/2011/12/grace-list.html">1000 Gifts </a>has.I have underlined and circled and written notes on nearly every page. And could not recommend it more highly. Especially for those of us who are second generation Christians.<br />
So here is a snippet from one of my favorite paragraphs so far:<br />
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" When you're used to wearing a mask, you are comfortable with compartmentalizing life. Mask-wearing good girls put worship in a slivered-up pie chart, dividing our lives into segments of importance. We assign percentages for work, service, prayer, school, exercise, PTA, meal planning, bill paying, dog walking, toilet cleaning, church and rest (if we're lucky). But the woman who has freely received the abundance of truth from Jesus abides in that truth as her very life. In other words, the lines of the pie chart disappear, and worship covers the full circle. Free women respond with worship in everything. We receive love, and extend worship. We embrace children, offering worship. We comfort, we laugh, we mourn, we dance, we read, we dream, we exist- all worship. We pay the bills, we go for a run, we enjoy a good movie, we make dinner, we welcome friends with open arms- worship, all worship. We send money and offer prayer and sit with a lonely neighbor, in Jesus name. We wait for love, we long for home, we pour out our hearts and hopes and fears and longing; we create with words and photos and colors and food, all beautiful beautiful acts of worship! " <br />
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<span class="text Rom-12-1-Rom-12-2">Or as Romans 12:1 say <i>" So here’s what I want you to do,
God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping,
eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God
as an offering.</i></span><i><span class="text Rom-12-1"> This is truly the way to worship him. - </span></i><span class="text Rom-12-1">The Message/NLT</span><br />
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-26783558895947098262013-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:002013-06-12T10:21:09.176-07:00{ Game...errr Name Changer }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The name of my blog, it gives me away. To most of you it will come as no surprise that I have a reputation for and a tendency to more often than not, see life through rose colored glasses. I have always been known as a little goody-two-shoes, since I was a little girl I have carried around this weight of feeling like I need to make and keep everyone around me happy. I thank Jesus for kicking that all out from under me. For showing me how useless my attempts at joy are apart from Him. Like never before I have come to realize that my identity is not in how cheerful I can be. ( even as a proponent of true cheerfulness as opposed to being fake ) I feel as if joy has been an idol of sorts in my life. And by that I mean self manufactured, counterfeit joy, not true joy that is the overflow of Jesus in me. And so I am changing the name of my blog. As a marker or altar of sorts of the way God is working in my life. As He takes the broken mess of who I am, the good the bad and the ugly and transforms me by this glorious exchange of my mess for His love, my emptiness for His joy, my striving for His peace, my impatience for His patience, my hardness for His kindness, my ugliness for His goodness my selfishness for His self-control.<br />
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I am so humbled by the way He takes the ashes of our sin and by the beauty of grace and the gospel turns them into beauty and joy. I am so humbled that He is opening my eyes to the truth of knowing Him in my head versus the experience knowing Him intimately and I never want to go back to that place of being stagnant by just going through the motions of being " a Christian." Once having tasted that freedom and abundance of life in Jesus, there can be no turning back. Only a going deeper. <br />
<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-44599687075845490092013-04-16T15:10:00.000-07:002013-06-12T18:17:50.970-07:00{ Grace Storm }<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Up <span style="font-size: x-small;">ahead</span></span>: Heavy duty soul baring sort of post. You've been warned. <span style="font-size: x-small;">;)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">“ There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” Willa Cather </span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Since becoming a family of 6. Since our fourth child was named for this very word. Since almost by default it has become my </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">“ word “ of the year for 2013. Since I wear it on a charm around my neck ever day…“ by grace alone!“ Since, as the book of John says.." A person can not recieve even one thing unless it is given him from heaven" and I have written in my bible next to that verse, the this phrase from the beautiful <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/">Ann Voskamp</a>: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">All. Is. Grace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> In the past 6 months, I have experienced some really dark times and by dark I mean, secret... in the hidden corners of my heart dark. I tried to push through. I've tried to grin and bear it but I’ve felt: stuck, overwhelmed, discouraged, defeated, drained, exhausted. At times I have felt powerless, I have yelled at my kids, like I told myself I would never do. I’ve felt that it was impossible to do life well or to live a life of love, on my own…I have felt desperate. At times in the past six months I have gone into hiding, been fearful, and my soul has felt lifeless, I have been in survival mode, and I have been blind to the depth of my selfishness. But thanks be to God, in His perfect faithfulness + loving kindness that leads to repentance, I feel like he is beginning to open my eyes to seeing the condition of my heart without Him and waking me up to the ugliness that is in me, apart from Him. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Because as I am learning by experience, as a recovering "good girl" that really, actually, in my own strength I really do not have what it takes to grow and thrive!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">“ Therefore He says, Awake O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall shine on ( make day dawn) upon you and give you light! Eph. 5:14 ( Amp )</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> In my case, it’s been a storm of grace. This past winter has been hard. I have felt overwhelmed as a mother. We have battled a lot of sickness. Some days it's seemed as though I barely have my head above water. And I have grown so sick of my self, and not feeling like there is way to rise above the mess and noise and fighting and moods to a place of joy. My prayer has become a desperate cry for help, that the Lord would soften my heart and give me the desire to wholeheartedly seek and desire Him like I never have before. And hope to keep praying that daily. That I would be led higher and deeper into Jesus. That I would quit putting Him in a box. That I would learn the secret to living the Christian life, is Christ in me, not me in different set of circumstances ( which today happens to look like bad moods for my three oldest children and a house that is anything but clean, full of laundry that is anything but folded and put away ) or anything I can do beyond opening my hands and accepting His love + grace, His amazing grace and living out of that. And in that place of grace, I have found<span style="font-size: large;"> freedom</span>! In Jesus I have been set free! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is teaching me that life doesn't have to always be "hard." That if I let Him, He will shoulder the stress. That His burden is easy and light! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is teaching me that the less time I have, and the busier life is, the more time I need to spend in His presence!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is stirring my heart and showing me how important it is to not fight harder for the idols in my life than I do for His glory. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is teaching me that the goal of daily time with Him is not consistency but intimacy! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am experiencing a renewed joy and gladness in the joy of His presence! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is teaching me that without Him I am a complete mess. But in Him I am loved as Christ is loved. I am blessed as Christ is blessed. I am embraced and adored as Christ is embraced and adored. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is whispering to me that I am free from religion and trying hard to perform for God. Free from shame and condemnation. I have listened to </span><a href="http://marshill.com/media/who-do-you-think-you-are/part-2-i-am-in-christ"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">this sermon</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> probably a dozen times now and it has become my mantra. And I am so umbled by His and of grae</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> This week Jesus is using the Gospel of John, reading through the bible in a year, the book </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0800719840/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=16518356247&hvpos=1t2&hvexid=&hvnetw=s&hvrand=1363774435622336475&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&ref=pd_sl_7z267wc0vj_b"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Grace for the Good Girl</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">, this you tube clip called </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bU-Rf_k24Q"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Jesus loves Barabas</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> that a dear friend shared with me, and my loved ones to rock my world! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Jesus please shine your thrist-quenching, life-giving love into every corner of my heart! </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Jesus help me to know that even if all I have is You, that is More. Than. Enough.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">" Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase but I must decrease." </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">John 3:29 + 30</span></div>
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Look at how much they've grown in the seven months from my last post! And goodness sakes do I adore them!</div>
Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-34861767526724749572012-10-03T10:35:00.001-07:002012-10-19T07:48:22.879-07:00{ every good + perfect gift }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jEmWJxX3jN8/UIFm8x4TnVI/AAAAAAAAGLg/dCdyEbiyZn8/s1600/Ris+for+Ruby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jEmWJxX3jN8/UIFm8x4TnVI/AAAAAAAAGLg/dCdyEbiyZn8/s400/Ris+for+Ruby.jpg" width="317" /></a></div>
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{ Image curtsey of the ever lovely <a href="http://www.takejoydesigns.blogspot.com/">Andrea</a> of <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/takejoydesigns?ref=em">Take Joy Designs</a> }</div>
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She's
been here for a little over three weeks now. Three wonderfully sweet,
Ruby-Grace filled weeks. She is an easy baby. And when she does make a
peep, which isn't very often...she is easily calmed. She has been
smiling at us since one week old. She was born at home at 9:50 p.m. on
Sunday September 9th...our first bedtime baby as our other three were
all born in the morning...and it was so special to get to crawl into bed
with our freshly born baby and just soak her up in all her tiny newness and glory and to fall asleep with her in my arms and to get to sniff her soft little head all night long. She is our smallest baby, at 7lbs 5 oz + 19 3/4 inches long, and
I have loved getting to dress her for the last three weeks in NB sized
clothes. She's small and delicate and has captured our hearts. I love that she is so mellow. So mellow that she was born asleep. I love how she snorts when she's hungry. I love how much she moves in her sleep, which through me off, because I thought all the movement before she was born meant she was going to be hyperactive.I love that her Daddy calls her Lucy's skinny twin, because she is so easy going like Lucy was as a newborn. I love how downy soft she is. I love that she smells sweeter than than any perfume. I love that when I brush my fingers across her eyes, she falls magically and instantly asleep.<br />
I love how her little feet are long and skinny like a rabbits foot and can fold in half lengthwise.<br />
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Annabelle, Jack and Lucy came home to meet her first thing in the morning. They had stayed with their Auntie Roo who they love and adore the night Ruby was born. We all do. She's is amazing and beautiful and such a huge help to me in every way. I don't know what I'd do without her. They tip-toed ever so quietly in to the room and were so sweet and gentle holding her for the first time. Jack is just so tender with her, he has a sweet little crush on her. Annabelle is such a big help to me with baby and so capable. I love it when she sings to Ruby. And I have taken hundreds of pictures of Lucy kissing Ruby because it's just that sweet. She is crazy about her. She calls her sis-sis. And comes running to tell me " wah-wah...wah-wah..."the second she starts to cry. I love to imagine how close they are going to be. Never having a sister myself growing up, I am so excited for them. <br />
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David was only able to take one day off after she was born but we were blessed to have Debs come Monday evening, and stay all week to help us and make it possible for me to truly be off my feet. It was an incredibly special to have that time with her and while she was here she deep/spring cleaned my house and went through and organized every drawer for me and matched up all my missing pairs of socks, hauled off bags to the thrift store because well, she's just amazing like that. It took a village to care for us that week as David's other sister Rachel, bless her beautiful heart...stayed home and took care of Deb's three littles, so she could come take care of us. Thank you girls. More than I can say. Your and the moms are right up there with Granny Annie, on my list of the most wonderful women that I have ever known. Deb, I'll never forget that week with you and how you so willingly cleaned up all that poop, <strike>even</strike> especially poop of the not so newborn variety. For talking Annabelle to school. And the morning the mouse jumped out of my underwear drawer. For how you love to kiss and love on my little people as if they were your own.<br />
And I cried when she left but thankfully my Mom had just arrived as Deb was leaving and I had her wonderful company and help and cooking for the following week. And for two days both Moms were here. Which really was too special for words for me and my kids to have both grandmas at once to love on us in every possible way. Mama B. brought Mums for my front porch and tucked chocolate away in the cupboard with my name on it and spent the day with Annabelle at school, kept up on the laundry, read to Jack, grocery shopped, mopped my floors all in a days work. Every morning the week my Mom was here she would wake up early with Lucy and let me sleep in. It was a sweet tradition for the two of them that included sharing a blueberry lara bar...I have these amazing ladies to thank ( including some really dear + amazing friends who have scrubbed my house until it sparkled and fed us along the way and blessed us with treats and and brand new amazing triple stroller ) that I was able to rest and recover fully and helped ease us through these first weeks with David gone working long hours until dark and Saturdays. <br />
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My Ruby-Gracie girl, what a truly beautiful + treasured gift to us you are. </div>
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There are no words to describe how much your Mama loves you!</div>
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" Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father..." James 1: 7</div>
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-44950715416985493752012-09-05T00:31:00.001-07:002012-09-05T00:33:35.018-07:00{ First day of First grade }<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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How can it already be time to say hello a new school year? And how can it be that we already have a first grader living under our roof? Excited for all this year holds for her and for me as one of her teachers. <a href="http://pinterest.com/onaschoolday/pins/">Pintrest </a>has a world of information and resources to offer, which I am loving. But to be really honest, in a lot of ways this school year looks like it's shaping up to be rather crazy with a new baby girl to arrive on the scene any day/week now, and I have to admit that I am feeling more than a little bit intimidated by the challenge of homeschooling while also mothering other the three under three. She's going to be going two full days a week to a local public school that partners with homeschooling families. I am so thankful for this best of both worlds option for her right now. And feel so privileged for the opportunity to be her teacher on the other three days we are at home. My prayer for her and for myself over the course of this next school year and all the ones to come, as much as I want to foster in her a love of learning and make sure she is up to speed in every subject for her grade and age, that I wouldn't lose sight of what's most important and that we we would before all else " grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. " 2 Pet. 3:18<br />
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So here we go1st Grade.<br />
Ready or not, here she comes.<br />
Please be kind. <br />
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<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-34558684451528357402012-09-04T23:38:00.000-07:002012-09-04T23:40:35.790-07:00{ Making cherry pie + a peek into my cheery kitchen }<div style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing quite so quintessentially summer to me as baking pies. Domestically speaking, that is.</div>
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<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-30661951396050348052012-09-03T15:43:00.000-07:002012-09-04T20:38:43.715-07:00{ List no. 6 - 30 Songs I love }<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> { Etsy Print <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/61524878/sing-out-loud-every-day-85-x-11-inch">found here</a> }</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Music is a huge part
of what defines home for me. I find it to be a powerful mood setter. It's amazing to me how a song can define a feeling or
bring back memories from a certain season of life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> This is a brief history of our family in song. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> During our days of falling in love <a href="spotify:track:7068X4wz4hhlhzj0cTlXU4"><i>this song</i></a> was so special to the two of us, and <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce-pUKsJM6w">this one</a> </i>to me. And then there was the music we had at our wedding,<a href="http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=297967&ac=now"> <i>A Prayer for Home</i></a>, and<i> <a href="spotify:track:0aWjffaq5QKRctY5Y6j4Ii">How Beautiful</a></i>. Or the <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY1EoqG2RP8">soundtrack</a></i> <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXMeMstVAhE">to</a></i> <i><a href="spotify:track:7aDcS8ufyLrf6IqTloqfI1">our</a></i> <i><a href="spotify:track:5W8Z7V6qMY44kviwnEWOU5">honeymoon</a></i>, slow dancing in our teeny tiny cottage kitchen as newlyweds to <a href="spotify:artist:6rJqqRce0Kvo2dJUXoHleC">this song</a>, and then a couple years later, the song Annabelle first
started dancing to, by Gwen Stephani which was really popular at the time. We have at least half a dozen videos of her getting down to <i><a href="spotify:track:66ZcOcouenzZEnzTJvoFmH">The Sweet Escape</a></i>. <i>T<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGC3xCCX05g">his song</a> </i> reminds me so much of our Black Diamond years. And <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlFCfkyuQM0">Everybody </a></i>by Ingrid Michaelson, makes me think of our first days in Spokane when Jack was just a baby and beginning to dance. I remember"<i> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfwjvRxxZd8">All the Pennies</a> </i>" playing on repeat after having moved into our house on 14th and while still very much in the remodeling process and didn't even " own a bathroom door." And I am pretty sure that I have listened to <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0_rr1APv6M">this song</a></i>, a thousand times in the months before and after Lucy was born, and have still never tired of it. These days Matt Redman's<i><a href="spotify:track:16e4Q3plJrKkncoLKR1CQ1"> 10,000 reasons</a></i> is a family favorite. Lucy especially loves it...she toddles around with both arms
raised, cooing like a little songbird. And it's also super sweet how babiest girl gets all excited when it's playing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks to Spotify, I have a hand picked playlist for almost every occasion. There is <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:6REqAnKfQCmA9FASMjoVo1">happy house-cleaning music</a>, and <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:5xXpOm7n3VPB4znur1QKM4">bedtime lullabies</a> and <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:3cblCLP0vCfckdTwI1Ld1C">songs of worship</a>, a mean <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:5FCfUCuPfzRZi6QWMyhLoJ">dance lineup</a>, <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:6WRO8yy6fG3AeM9dPNu28s">seasonal lists of favorite songs</a>,<a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:2q2Q73QlIycdwcUL09Jmx8"> love songs</a>, and songs<a href="http://open.spotify.com/user/michelleums/playlist/5Ek86PbkmrTgXDk4wZEb1W"> for my little ones</a>, and songs by genre...because I might secretly love <a href="spotify:user:michelleums:playlist:2tFhozQCM0dpfQl2sVunAx">bluegrass music </a>a little bit. I have my parents thank for that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I want my children to grow up and say that worship was the heartbeat of our home. As C.S. Lewis says, "It is in the process of being worshiped that God communicates His presence to men." Isn't that beautiful?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> So now in no particular order, here are thirty songs that I love to lift my voice and twirl around the the living room with my kids to... </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwIT8JjddM">10,000 Reasons</a>, Matt Redman </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umjDHyfKxO8&feature=related">Oh My Stars</a>, Andrew Belle </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrss1cqVoBc">It's a Gift</a>, Andrea Hamilton</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjknx4so2b0">This Dance</a>, Five for Fighting</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="spotify:track:7pQkaSFpBuRuBM4kkxoJOZ">Filled With Your Glory</a>, Starfield</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2-3ooX_XkQ&feature=related">All Will Be Well </a>Gabe Dixon Band</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0_rr1APv6M">This is Just so Beautiful </a> Jenny + Tyler</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjll7yySgMs">Your Song,</a> Ellie Goulding</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inJtTG_DuU">Bloom</a>, The Paper Kites</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4JtfAyQJoc">Brand New, </a>Emilie Mover </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRPSoF4bxLM">Happy Lessons</a>, The Vespers</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfOPPKg-6_E">Grace for Me</a>, The Michael Gungor band</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E8sPrfJgFs">So Deep in Love</a>, Joel Auge</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q85PfitpTCc&feature=related">Sweetheart</a>, Jont</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/28240457">All is Grace</a>, Shaun Groves</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XTO4WiP8Bw">Joy is in Our Hearts</a>, Sara Groves </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzzCthKw_C0">Old Pine</a>, Ben Howard</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2RuY4jw4vs">Forever After Love</a>, Andrew Ripp</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr-Ff8us0Hg">Angel</a>, Jack Johnson</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="spotify:track:3zzwBtusqxBiGRsGpsnN3F">Viva La Vida,</a> Coldplay</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0MG-vDwrU4">Friend Like You</a>, Joshua Radin</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbKX0mb8MGo">For You</a>, Peter Bradely Adams </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUUJLdB0d90&feature=relmfu">Bring Me the Sunshine</a>, Jess Penner</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2R6uj52H58">Little Song</a>, Sarah Jarosz</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKOMMgVj6jI">Little Light</a>, ( Our little Lucy's song. Her name means light.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDjo7vL7qPE">Blue Eyes</a>, Timmy Curran</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNd22xG4_14">You Are Love</a>, Rend Collective Experiment</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MfBQ30Ta9w">Take Heart</a>, Hillsong</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbAVaXfNRXA">Skyline Hill</a>, Jenny + Tyler</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooN8MKo79Zc">Little Song</a>, Sarah Jarosz</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I would love to hear all about your favorite songs. </span><br />
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Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35935732.post-28620308730392777342012-08-23T01:26:00.001-07:002012-08-23T08:33:38.717-07:00{ on holding your breath } This past week David had to work out of town again. And as the contractions have already started up on a regular and daily basis with this sweet baby girl to be, and since I am only at 35 weeks and need to keep sweet said baby girl in for at least one more week, I decided to pack up and take the kids for a visit to Poppy + Nana's. The kids were thrilled for the time with them while this Mama sure appreciated the break. Every time I'd get up off the couch either my Mom or Dad would suggest that I sit down and rest. Thank you both, and my was it amazing to just nap whenever and for however long I wanted too the last couple days. We spent a fun day at the beach and were able to get in a visit with some very dear friends who we haven't seen for a very too long time. And Poppy made us banana splits and his famous french toast. And Nana fed us her amazing summer garden veggies. And I was able to read, almost an entire book in two days..and I loved the conversation I had with my Mom in the kitchen about the book and about food and how it is tied to some of our fondest + oldest memories. And then last night, when the contractions hit hard again, I sipped down my ( prescribed ) glass of wine over the latest version of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1229822/">Jane Eyre</a> , while my parents took all three of my kids to the park. Sound dreamy? It was. Until they came home with one hysterical and hurt 6 year old girl. She fell off the top of the slide, on to her head. She broke her fall with her wrist. She also, after today's x-ray showed, broke two bones in her wrist. She was incredibly brave about the whole thing. She is tough, doesn't cry easily and it was obviously very painful. The first thing she told me when they'd gotten her home was that she was so sorry that she wasn't going to be able to help Jack buckle into his car seat, bless her dear little heart. My Mom and I both had a gut feeling it was broken so weren't all that surprised by the verdict this afternoon at the doctors office. Her cast goes on Monday. It's going to be hot pink. She's super excited about that.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_O7NQfva_U/UDXzLjkboMI/AAAAAAAAGEk/lN-oIsMe9r0/s1600/Summer+2012+208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_O7NQfva_U/UDXzLjkboMI/AAAAAAAAGEk/lN-oIsMe9r0/s400/Summer+2012+208.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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( here she is the poor, pitiful dear just fallen asleep after her fall, thank you Jesus for Tylenol! )</div>
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And then between Thursday and Monday's visit to our Dr. there was Friday's. The first words out of Dr. Morgan's mouth when he walked in the room the following afternoon were..." Yesterday was <i>not</i> a good day for you, was it? "<br />
Just after we'd gotten home to David with our x-ray picture proof of A's broken wrist, we were happily cleaning out the van together, so thankful to be together as a family once again, when out of the blue and for no obvious reason we had the scare of our lives with Lucy. She started to fuss and we thought she was going to throw up when she went into what we now believe may have been a non febrile seizure. Including, complete loss of color, as her eyes rolled back in her head, and she was taking only really shallow breaths, and not responding, as she went completely limp and lethargic in my arms. I would like to say that I kept my composure in those excruciatingly long minutes but that would be a lie. I lost it right then and there and quite literally cried out to Jesus in desperation to please help my baby, save my baby, to not take my baby. And thank God that David was there. David called 911. Those 7 minutes felt like an eternity. By the time the ambulance pulled up to our house, she was starting to regain her color and was beginning to respond again. When they checked, her vitals were all perfect. And it was over as quickly as it came. I felt like I'd been holding my own breath the whole time it seemed she was holding hers. The EMT's were so nice and didn't even look at us like we were completely nuts, as I rocked in my arms our once again perfectly healthy toddler in my arms. And later sobbed in relief that it was over and she is fine. Because thanks be to God, she hasn't skipped a beat since then. Our Dr. said that hopefully this was a completely isolated, once in a lifetime incident for her. And as long as it never happens again, he didn't feel the need to do any further testing. I have relived those terrifying minutes so many times in the past few days. And I cannot stop thanking Jesus tonight for the indescribably beautiful life of my little Lucy Wren girl. She is such a gift to all us. It brings me such joy to get to be her Mama . She truly lights up our world, just like her name means...She's sunshine on a cloudy day and as the song that we sing to her and call "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKOMMgVj6jI">her song</a>" and that she love to hum back to us says... <br />
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Look at all the angels watching you<br />
They’re singing songs that we have never heard<br />
Their voices ring like bells over the mountains<br />
Oh, if only we could hear their words<br />
God is near, little girl.<br />
<br />
Your eyes are brilliant,deep sky blue.<br />
Your quiet wisdom is an evening song.<br />
The angels must be breathless at your beauty<br />
Like the world catches its breath before the dawn.<br />
God is near, little one.<br />
<br />
And Jesus bends to hear you breathe;<br />
His tender hands are holding you tonight.<br />
His heart is ravished when you look at Him,<br />
and oh, the endless mercy in His eyes;<br />
God is here, little light.<br />
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<i>Little Light, by Audrey Assad</i><br />
<br />
Oh for a heart to savor every day even...no, especially the brutally hard ones.<br />
Oh for a heart that trusts and is surrendered.<i> </i><br />
Oh for the patience to be the tender Mama that I know I am called to be.<br />
Oh for the eyes to see, and too not take for granted the gift of these days, and the almost four treasures that I call my own. <br />
<br />
<br />Chellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380504004257948038noreply@blogger.com6