Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Years of quiet, like weeds and brambles have overgrown the path I used to take to this well worn and beloved spot. A place I used to feel so at home in. This past weekend, I walked into the school room to find David scrolling back through post after post, going back in time, with one kid on his lap and one hanging off each arm. Every last post. Laughing and exclaiming and remembering...A lump rose in my throat, a kind of bittersweet ache. I miss this space. I stopped blogging for good when I let my overwhelmingly busy + messy beautiful life, squeeze out the time I spent remembering and recounting different bits and pieces of our story. Little stories of God's goodness, daily graces and clear evidence of God’s faithful kindness,  that I have found are forgotten over time, if not preserved.

  So I am starting fresh today. And by fresh I mean that literally. I started this post last week and only got one paragraph in before I got up to do something else came up, and i got distracted and that’s as far as I got. But I came back and am picking up where I left off in hopes that I stay in this place long enough to actually press the publish button. 
So here I am starting again with today. 
March 23, 2019, a sweetly imperfect and ordinary day. 
Today we did what I have started calling " fun-schooling," My kids have worked hard to earn some extra days off before spring break by doubling up so today we did school until noon and then ran off to the library, stopped for donuts, walked at the park.The little girls did some and fairy-house building while Annabelle was at ballet and Jack at a sleepover with his friend. 
Today I yelled at my kids to stop fighting. Never helpful or pretty but it’s the truth. Today, the house was more messy than not. 
Today I kissed my husband in the rain, who is about to turn forty and who just gets kinder and more handsome with age. 
Today I gave Lucy and Ruby their first " official " piano lesson and you can see from our dining room window, purple velvet patches of crocuses blooming in our back yard. 
Today I did not cook dinner,  Costco did. Grateful for those un-homemade chicken cilantro wantons. 
Willa discovered her shadow on the wall tonight and it was a moment of magic that I tucked it away to treasure and remember in my mama’s heart. 
I am reading a lot these days, before bed and early in the morning before the house wakes up. Today I am not ignoring my soul, in order to love and care for the souls God’s given me. So today I breathed in grace like oxgeyn. 
But most of all today I am in Christ. May my life today more than anything be just that. Today I have hope and a future. “ This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us.”  Heb 6:19 
Today I am setting my mind not on what is seen but what is unseen. Make me willing Lord to risk everything on that hope. 
Today I am praying for you friend. That you would know how dearly beloved you are, and that God meets you in every good, hard or scary place, that He holds you and sustains you in miraculous ways that would spill over into joy and praise and glory.