Friday, December 03, 2010

{ a *good* cry }

" The Value of Cheerfulness " being the title of my blog, I normally choose to focus on writing about joyful, happy things.
And I try to keep a thankful heart.
But in the spirit of keeping it real around here I just have to say that things are often far from rosy and perfect, as my blog mostly portrays. Take yesterday afternoon for example, out of nowhere I broke down sobbing at the kitchen sink. Just because.  Sure I was feeling really discouraged about a couple things...The main one being Jack's skin condition, which has become more + more severe in the last couple weeks, even though we've got his diet down to only the foods that are the least allergenic. Anyway the whole reason I am writing about this, ( besides the keeping it real part :)is so that someday I will read back over this and remember that as I stood there, dish towel in hand, crying my eyes out... God met me right then and there...in my messy state of heart...as my legs were instantly wrapped up by little arms and sweet pats came from my beautiful daughter and tender hearted son as they hushed and comforted their Mommy. They both had such concern in their eyes. Which only makes me cry again to think of it.

 I am beginning to realize that it's not only okay to give myself permission to come unraveled but that it can be really good, and even healthy for me to be that honest with myself and with God and my family when I am feeling sad or angry. Maybe this is the very best and safest place for me to be in. After all healing comes out of hurt and redemption comes out of loss, so that we may comfort those with the comfort with which we've been comforted.

" I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly."


 Madeleine L'Engle

15 comments:

Aunt Tea said...

Ihough often tear stained, it's so good when we know our need for God. so good.

good post. hugs. Ü

Wendi@Every Day Miracles said...

So, so true. We live in a fallen world, and will have rough days. How sweet that God has given us gifts in the form of little ones to comfort. Just the thought of your dear Annabelle and Jack patting and comforting melts my heart.
Praying for you as you deal with little Jack's allergies. I have several friends who are walking this road as well - and I know it is hard.
(Hugs) to you and so appreciating your authenticity.

Cottage Mommy said...

Love you, love you, love you...wishing I could give you a hug in person...

Leslie said...

lifting Jackers up in pray.
daily daily.
along with you two and a lot of the weight you both carry.

Loving your family the only way we can right now from afar.. and thats just asking Jesus to do it for us.

And so so knowing those unraveling days, the ones where kids teach us an awful lot about Jesus' charachter... loving you. A lot a lot.

shabby girl said...

What a beautiful lesson for your children! To share your human-ness with them can only benefit them as they grow. And you got some incredible comforting by the most innocent of souls.
I think it's all good! :)

Nikki said...

So very very true. Thank you for sharing your heart. Praying for you and Jacky-boy, for the selling of your house, for all the thousand and one things that weigh on your heart. Love you!!

Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

All these lovely women before me have said exactly what I would have wanted you to hear. You do serve a God that hears and knows, He says every tear you cry is in His bottle. He loves you and I think those little pats and hugs were a way to let you know it.

Praying for you too.

Deborah said...

My love and prayers are sent your way, dear Chelle.Praying for dear Jack Jack so often.(Everytime I'm at the kitchen sink!)We love you guys!

Catherine said...

Oh, Chelle, darlin', be encouraged by those who love you. Have you tried organic jojoba oil on Jack's skin? A skin specialist told me about it for my grandson. And I'm praying for you.

Jenny said...

Oh, Chelle...I too have been there at the kitchen sink many, many times.

You're right, it IS so good for us to be in this place.


"We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity, for in prosperity we forget God." --Dwight L. Moody

Bless your heart.

Amanda said...

oh sweet, sweet Chelle...you are not alone by the kitchen sink...with your dish towel...oh how many times i have been there...just in the past week. love to you friend...and praying for you and your fam and jack...so so much!

Fairlightday said...

You aren't alone dear. You have some many people praying for you and your sweet little family and we love you so much. I'm glad that Annabelle and little man Jack were there to hug and comfort. They make it all worthwhile.
Praying for you and like Nikki said, all the thousand and one things on your heart and mind right now.

xoxo

Misha Leigh. said...

Oh Jack ...and you... this makes my heart ache. Hits so close to home. I ache with you and pray for Jesus to bring you wisdom!

Chantel Monet said...

Oh darling Chelle,
This is such a struggle. I'm aching for you. I will continue to pray for you, and Jack. Thank goodness for you sweet babies, are they ever sweet! Please call me if you are in need of a Creme Brulee latte, a chat of a hug. I will rush right over. Love you so!

Prairie Rose said...

I can only imagine your frustration!
I do hope that soon something will work for Jack.
I am sure you have already tried so many things and have heard so many suggestions.
A little cousin of my husbands had bad allergies that would give him rashes and tummy aches and they switched him to Goats Milk and it cleared up.
And another friend, her little daughter would get rashes that no one could explain, she uses this product and they have cleared up:
http://www.badgerbalm.com/p-398-baby-balm.aspx
I know that something will work for him and you will get it figured out:)