{ a *good* cry }

" The Value of Cheerfulness " being the title of my blog, I normally choose to focus on writing about joyful, happy things.
And I try to keep a thankful heart.
But in the spirit of keeping it real around here I just have to say that things are often far from rosy and perfect, as my blog mostly portrays. Take yesterday afternoon for example, out of nowhere I broke down sobbing at the kitchen sink. Just because.  Sure I was feeling really discouraged about a couple things...The main one being Jack's skin condition, which has become more + more severe in the last couple weeks, even though we've got his diet down to only the foods that are the least allergenic. Anyway the whole reason I am writing about this, ( besides the keeping it real part :)is so that someday I will read back over this and remember that as I stood there, dish towel in hand, crying my eyes out... God met me right then and there...in my messy state of heart...as my legs were instantly wrapped up by little arms and sweet pats came from my beautiful daughter and tender hearted son as they hushed and comforted their Mommy. They both had such concern in their eyes. Which only makes me cry again to think of it.

 I am beginning to realize that it's not only okay to give myself permission to come unraveled but that it can be really good, and even healthy for me to be that honest with myself and with God and my family when I am feeling sad or angry. Maybe this is the very best and safest place for me to be in. After all healing comes out of hurt and redemption comes out of loss, so that we may comfort those with the comfort with which we've been comforted.

" I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly."


 Madeleine L'Engle